Let Them Feel It

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make sure everyone else is okay.

I didn’t always notice it in the moment; it’s just something I did. I’d downplay my feelings, hold my tongue, or walk on eggshells if it meant keeping the peace. I’d apologize before I even understood what I was apologizing for. If someone seemed off or uncomfortable, I’d take it on like it was mine to fix.

I thought that was compassion. Or love. Or just being “easy to be around.”

But lately, I’m realizing how much of myself I’ve left behind in the process.

How often I’ve silenced my own voice in favor of someone else’s comfort.

And how heavy it feels to keep carrying emotions that were never mine to begin with.

I’m learning that I don’t have to internalize other people’s discomfort.

I can let someone feel whatever they need to feel; without shrinking or over-explaining or softening the truth just to make things smoother.

Because discomfort isn’t always bad. It can be part of growth. It can mean we’re being honest. It can mean something is finally shifting.

So I’m practicing:

• Pausing before I jump in to fix it.
• Asking myself, “Is this mine to hold?”
• Trusting that being real is more important than being agreeable.

I want my daughter to see that.

That it’s okay to let other people carry their own feelings.

That she doesn’t have to contort herself to be worthy.

That peace inside herself matters more than peace at any cost.

I’m still unlearning. But I’m getting better.

And every time I let someone feel their own discomfort without making it my job; I feel a little freer.

xx