Here It Comes

The day is coming. 4/28. The day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I often think of the days leading up. How did I not see it coming? What could I have done differently? Why my baby boy? The questions are endless.

And this year feels heavier than ever. So many things are over-shadowing that fact that my child is dead. Horrible treatment from my in-laws. They think we should be over it and not as affected anymore. It's an awful feeling. How my sons existence can just be diminished by them. And they continue to just pile on.

I have never been one for pity parties. I don't ever feel sorry for myself. But this really feels like getting kicked when you are already down. Punishing us to keep us in our place and keep control over us. I want nothing more than to break away but it is just not that easy. Being employed by them, keeps us tied. Our livelihood in their hands. And I know, just get another job, right? It is not that easy. The compensation, the work life balance, the thoughts of other employers being even less understanding... It's a scary time right now.

xx